Monday, June 10, 2013

A Snippet from the Sekrit MG project

There's a fun new tagging game working its way around the Internet. Last night I was tagged by Bethany Smith (read her snippet here) who shared a snippet of her sea story. You should all go read it, Beth is an Aussie, and is am amazing atmospheric writer. I was lucky enough to beta her previous manuscript and this girl will be published at some point. She's good.

Anyway, the idea is to go to your WIP, and search for words like "time" or "moment" or "forever" in your writing. Pick your favorite snippet out of what you find and share.

My WIP is a historical MG set in the mountains of NC. It involves a now-gone community, the building of the Clinchfield Railroad line, and the hiding of an Italian immigrant. I'm hesitant to say more until it's finished.

I tag #5amwriterclub members, Lori Twining and Karma Brown.

Anyway, here goes (this is a first draft people - and you are the first to see any of this!)

Later that night, in the quiet time after chores were done but before sleep came, she sat with her Pa out on the cabin porch. Fireflies twinkled over the field and the stars were only touching distance away.


“Um hm.”

“You ain’t going to make me go and live with Aunt Della are you?”

Papa’s hand fell to her shoulder and she climbed into his lap like she did in younger days.
“You’re about too big for this, girl.”

Maddie tucked her legs tighter beneath her, trying to make herself small. “You didn’t answer me.”

Papa wrapped his arms around her balled up figure and rested his chin on the top of her fine hair. “One day you’re going to leave me anyway, girl. You’ll be like that Lucy Tipton, dolling yourself up, looking for a fellow under bushes and brambles.”

“I ain’t, Papa. Miss Lucy wants to leave Lost Cove. She wants to go to Johnson City or Spruce Pine. I want to stay right here.”

“Right here’s good, child.” 

Maddie settled into her Papa’s warm chest and the gentle sway of the rocking chair. But inside she felt uneasy, like something had started she couldn’t stop.

A star shot across the night sky. From the woods came the scream of something, most likely a rabbit, dying at the hands of a predator.

And far off in the distance, from over the mountaintops, came the rhythmic clang of iron hitting iron.


  1. Wonderful writing! Thanks for sharing.

  2. Love, it. Felt like I was there on the porch with her.

  3. Love the mood you set! Historic MGs = <3

  4. Ooooooh! This is beautiful! I want more!

  5. Mmmmm. I'm sucked in by the time of day and the closeness of the scene. Love it.

  6. Wow, your writing is so lovely - and the voice stands out like woah! Thanks for sharing, Jaye.

  7. Awww. Thanks everybody. You've made may day. Maddie and her Pa have been living in my head for a couple of years. With two YA's in the works, I needed a break from teenage voice so I chose this summer to finally first draft this story. It combines a couple of obscure pieces of NC history that hopefully are relatable to all of America. This is set around 1900.

  8. Amazing snippet! Love it. Can't wait to read the rest!

  9. I love this so much, JRo! The last line is especially wonderful. You're going to be one of those super-prolific authors, aren't you?


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