Monday, September 17, 2012

GUTGAA Pitch Contest #27 - For Better Or Worse


For Better or Worse
Adult Paranormal Romance
 65,000
Query:
How far would you go for love?
In the midst of a girl’s night out, three friends search for a way to change their lives so they head out to get a tarot card reading that will change their destiny. They all get a reading that mimics their live and the witch tells them to hold onto to certain items during the reading or the reading will be not work. The witch cast a spell to send all three girls into different worlds.
Rosabla Pike is a feisty woman that has a successful life, but lack the love of a great man that would give her what she secretly wants- a baby. The witch cast Rosabla to an isolated Castle with a monstrous King that holds her prisoner so she can become his wife.
Later she must make a decision on her wedding day to escape or to stay to get the love she has been searching for. But, Isabella, the King’s lover, will stop at nothing to get him back.  Will she escape or will she be forced to kill Isabella to stay with the King? 
Tara Baron is a lively creative ad designer that loves to be in the spotlight, but secretly wants to be an artist in Paris. Her family has taught her that power is money and to do what makes money. The witch cast Tara into the future of a fortune 500 advertising agency that has her competing with her best friend, Amy, and boyfriend, Brad, for a promotion to be the next CEO of the advertising company in Paris.
But, destiny has a different plan for her. She meets Chad that steals her attention; especial since he has a sick child, Kevin, which wants to be an artist in Paris, too. She struggles between being that cut throat businessperson and the love of this man and child. Will she toss it all out, to race to Chad’s side when Kevin dies?
Chrissy Bell is a sassy dancer that teaches kids ballet, but loves a romantic adventure at any cost. The witch cast Chrissy into the middle of her future loves funeral. Chrissy finds out that her new love Jonathon has been killed over a battle about inheritance. Jonathon comes back to her as a ghost. He tries to convince her to fall in love. Chrissy is faced with a choice to take a pill to end her human life and go over to the ghost side to be with Jonathon. Will she take the ultimate faith and take the pill or will she use the object to go back to her life; to stop him from being murdered.
Find out how far they will have to go for love .
 First 150-words
She had no fear of what was to come.  
 
Visions of her beloved Jason, heaved up from her heart and her eyes pooled with tears. As she was instructed to do, after two years of his death, she opened the card. Her heartbeat rapid, her knees buckled, she grasped the window edge for support anticipation the message from beyond. She was determined to honor his last wish for them to find love again.
 
Her chin dropped to her pulsating chest, drew in a long, deep breath, then slowly released it. “Let’s find out our destiny with a Tarot card reading.”
Rosabla stared at the beautiful view of New York at night time waiting for their response. The tall buildings saluting through the dark skyline like soldiers to their leader.  The windows illuminated a sense that life goes on at night time just as it does in the daytime. Rosabla face glowed with admiration.
 
 She whispered to herself. “I am going to miss this place.” 

3 comments:

  1. Lumpy Space PrincessSeptember 18, 2012 at 1:25 PM

    Your premise sounds really interesting. I love the idea of this witch completely messing with these women's lives in ways that challenge what they believe they wanted. However, I do think your query is MUCH too long--it could probably stand to be trimmed to half that length. Also, there were a few too many grammatical mistakes that kept distracting me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. I will go over the query to check for grammatical error that I overlooked. Any suggestions on how to trim it while giving enough to keep the big picture?

      Delete

Hey, do you ever wonder why they call it 'your two cents?'